Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Sweet Savage Love

OK, this post will be nothing like as interesting as it sounds. Unless terrorists break in while I'm writing it, and I'm able to turn it into on-the-spot war journalism or something.

Anyway, Sweet Savage Love was a racy romance by Rosemary Rogers that all the girls in my Jr High read, and which my english teacher refused to let one of them give her oral book report on because it was too trashy. Which he was probably right about.
However, he was wrong about the use of exclamation points, which he contended were merely to add emphasis to whatever kind of sentence they were tagged onto, and which I contended also carried a connotation of "surprisingness", a position I still hold to, but he's been dead for 20 years so he (or I) can probably shut up about it.

My point started out to be (peripherally) about the Noble Savage concept, not book reports, but I got distracted thinking about Karynne Whatever-her-name-was and how Mr. Berg made her sit down after she started her book report, but it didn't hurt her popularity, since that was mostly based on how she looked in tight 70's-style jeans, one pair of which she had that zipped all the way around to the back, sort of like chaps I guess.

So anyway, a friend sent me this quote today:
A mind without instruction can no more bear fruit than can a field, however fertile, without cultivation. - Cicero

And all I really wanted to do was agree with the Cis-meister on this one, and further to say that if you believe that
  • "traditional medicine" is bad for you, and what we need is more herbs & accupuncture & aromatherapy
  • being self-taught by experience is alway better than book-learning (ie, "you don't learn nothin' in that there university that you cain't learn in the regular ole school of life")
  • America is always on the side of good & right
  • 9/11 was in inside job
  • the Apache were a peace-loving people
  • God looks out for America because we're especially big fans of His
  • Sarah Palin would've made a good vice-president
  • Pro-life people all hate women
  • Gay people are just straight people looking for kicks
  • we should withhold HPV vaccine to make girls more likely to be celibate
  • art is not to be judged; all art is of equal value
  • anything else that i disagree with
then you are an imbecile. You should not vote or procreate. You should buy many things made of shiny plastic from Walmart, then stay home watching TV and reading books like Sweet Savage Love.

Just saying.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

These are the conversations of our lives…

Bryan: Can you tell me, does everyone in the Engineering union automatically receive the Uniform Allowance benefit?

Client: The engineers, yes. That’s who gets the Uniform Allowance.

Bryan: Okay, right, good. So is it *everyone*? Do *all* the engineers get the allowance?

Client: Yes, they are all engineers. The Maintenance union used to get it too, but they bundled it into bonuses a couple of years ago. So it’s just the engineers.

Bryan: Uh-huh. That’s interesting. I was just wondering if the engineers *all* get it, or do some engineers *not* get it.

Client: Well, they all sign up for it. It’s a popular benefit.

Bryan: Yeah, I imagine so. What I should have said is “Is it ever possible for an engineer to *not* get it?”

Client: Well, all of our engineers get it, I don’t know why they wouldn’t. It’s like free money, whether you actually wear a uniform or not.

Bryan: Mmm, yeah. I would too. And is there any scenario where an engineer could ever *not* get it?

Client: Why wouldn’t they get it?

Bryan: I don’t know. But the software needs to know if they ever might not have it, and what to do if so.

Client: But they all DO have it.

Bryan: Yeah, but if it’s ever possible, I have to write the software to control for that.

Client: That seems weird, I can’t imagine why an engineer wouldn’t opt for the benefit.

Bryan: Right, me either. But it really doesn’t matter *why* as much as *if* it might happen. Do you know if it’s possible to process an engineer without the allowance?

Client: We never process them without it, because they all have it.

Bryan: Right, I understand. But do you know if the rules permit an engineer to be processed without the allowance?

Client: I have no idea…

Bryan: Okay, well, I’ll be back in a minute, after I plunge this pencil into my eye socket.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

my life lately

Not much of interest to report.

Letting my hair grow. Bought a motorcycle.

I didn't think much of the paint job at first, but the whales kinda grew on me. Besides, it shows that I'm a green guy, so dating me is like doing your part to save the earth. Or at least, that's what I tell the girls. ;-)

Am finding myself really really busy, hence minimal blogging lately. Miss doing it, tho. Lots of thoughts and opinions, sometimes they get crowded and need to be inflicted on other people so I can forget about them.

Here is a bunch of negative -- or at least challenging -- stuff:

This week David is pissed at me because I was making him do work he didn't want to do and he was being a gigantic douche -- rude, uncooperative, destructive, etc -- and i told him i was this close to knocking him on his ass, which was not good parenting but i felt something needed to be clarified about how completely unacceptable his behavior was, but the result was that he said "why don't you then?" and then swore at me and ran away to his mom's.

So we missed going to the dirtbiking class we'd been planning for 2 months. He didn't want to go (or forgot, not sure which) so I went alone, and had to eat the $175 i had paid for his admission. He's still being surly, doesn't want to talk to me, so we'll see how that works out.

Samantha took herself off her meds (who needs that sh*t when you feel this great?) and as soon as her chemistry levels dropped immediately cratered into depression. So she's back on her meds and hopefully will be able to engage with life again soon and not cry all the time. It's hard to let your kids learn their lessons on their own, but not much choice since I clearly don't know anything. Apparently I've spent the last 44 yrs in a coma, completely failing to accumulate any wisdom whatsoever that could possibly be of use to a teenager. ;-)

Missed my parent's anniversary; thought about them but didn't have their Ukraine number in my phone and wasnt near my computer all day. Oh well, I imagine they'll still love me.

A good friend lost her job & house, then got kicked out of her new lodgings by a neurotic landlady who's not too well-anchored to reality. Then her dog who'd been with her for 13 yrs had to get put down because she couldn't find a home for her. She is understandably depressed.

Another friend is going thru a tough divorce, adjusted her own meds (I sense a pattern) and then had a couple of big personal/financial disasters in a row; she took a bunch of pills, but luckily had presence of mind to call someone and is now doing better.

My motorcycle got knocked over while parked at Masterpark at the airport. Probably take a couple hundred $ to fix everything. Masterpark guy said their policy is that they don't cover such things, but because I was really nice about it he wanted to do something, so offered to comp my parking on future trips until we reach the value of the repairs. Glad I went with honey over vinegar on that one. :-) Will probably lose the orca when they replace the gas tank (fuel is leaking) but i still have the ones on the side covers.

Work is iffy lately (lots of postponements/cancellations) but still managing to pay my rent & alimony. The IRS is a different matter, but I'm hoping to rectify that situation over the next couple of years.

On a happier note...

I don't have cancer that I know of. Or if I do, it feels pretty good so I'm okay with it. Also I apparently didn't get the chemical imbalance/mood disorder genes that other people have, so that's pretty cool.

Sam is passing her classes (AFAICT) at the community college. Her art is really good. Hoping she parlays that into career that supports her so she doesn't have to be a stripper.

David is 5' 11", 160 lbs. He's not bouncing off the walls so much, thx to Adderall.

Went camping over the Memorial Day weekend. Found somebody's stash of weed on the beach; I don't smoke that stuff but I have a friend who has a prescription for it, so I figured I'd give it to him.

Was in LA area recently, got to see some family which was very enjoyable. Got my butt kicked at Wii bowling, but am mostly able to salvage my self-esteem by revving my motorcycle really loud.

Ok, that's all the mind-numbingly boring stuff I can think of to post right now. Hope all are well. Happy summer, everybody.

PS. the new Terminator Movie is good. Just saying.