Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Tongs for the memories

Memo to people who set up buffets, salad bars, and cetera:


The point of serving utensils -- whether ladles, serving spoons, or tongs -- is to keep people’s mitts (ie, their germs) off the food that other people are going to eat later.  So if it’s soup, or cottage cheese, or even slices of cheese or roast beef, then by all means give me a utensil so I can select my portion without wiping my grubby fingers all over the stuff you’re going to want.

But if it’s things that can easily be picked up with the fingers, then enough with the ****ing tongs, already.  When we’re talking about cookies, bread, muffins, tarts, whatever -- tongs do the opposite of what we want: they make everyone share everyone else’s germs, unnecessarily.

Think about it: I can pick up my dinner roll, touching nothing but my own selected roll, and move on.  Or, I can use the tongs that everyone else has touched already, making my own contribution to the ever-growing cesspool of bacteria growing on the handle, for no gain whatsoever.  Guess which I choose… You’re right -- I choose touching my own food, and letting the rest of you share each other’s diseases via the tongs.  Enjoy!