Tuesday, August 22, 2006


The mother of one of David's friends noticed that I am disorganized and overwhelmed. She and her sons helped us move some things last week, then she got another friend and cleaned both my old house and my new house for a very reasonable fee.

All it took was to be completely pathetic and dramatically unsuccessful in my efforts to do everything on the WA end by myself the last month. But it was worth it. I have no problem humiliating myself to get what I need -- I don't have any limits, really, as far as I can tell.

That's a joke, of course. Being male, and with a guardian/protector personality, I find it difficult to ask people for help. But my family and friends have been very good to me lately -- helping me with house stuff, loaning me money, watching my kids, etc -- it makes me feel for people who have no network to count on.

I kind of think it's our responsibility to have that kind of personal support. I feel like we have an obligation to not be so selfish or curmudgeonly or self-destructive or scary or high-maintenance that we don't have friends, and must rely on the kindness of strangers when we're in need. Just a thought.

In other news, the latest house sale seems to be proceeding without too many complications, so that's nice.


At Tue Aug 22, 12:28:00 PM PDT, Blogger blogball said...

“I find it difficult to ask people for help”
“I have no problem humiliating myself to get what I need”

Hey I have some traits of this disease too! I didn’t know there was an official
term (protector / guardian) to describe this type of personality.

I just looked it up http://www.keirsey.com/personality/sjif.html
It mentions Mother Teresa as an example of a protector / guardian so I feel a little better about myself now.

At Tue Aug 22, 01:34:00 PM PDT, Blogger jay are said...

a golden standard for sure---as long as you don't research too deeply :)

At Wed Aug 23, 12:00:00 AM PDT, Blogger mamacita said...

Bryan, btw, I made a long comment on your slim phone thing and for some reason it got eaten up---oh, I remember now,the computer did that self destructive thing. My husband also lost his hour of work. Never mind that now. I liked this post. Sometimes we can over extend though. (is that one word or two?) Once I cleaned some people's old house, and new house, washed their drapes, shampooed their dog and washed their car. What do you think they gave me? A package of orange Hostess cupcakes. Sure, I was a little disappointed but I just said, "Do you have a glass of milk?" It's all in your attitude. (Later that week I burned both houses down and airlifted the dog to Anchorage. (the people lived in Florida)

At Thu Aug 24, 07:03:00 PM PDT, Blogger Kylee said...

sometimes it takes some of us to be at our wits end trying to do it all ourselves and failing to realize that we really don't have to do it all, all the time. In fact it would be unreasonable to expect ourselves to be able to jump all the hoops and drive through all the curves. Sometimes we just need to accept the help of friends and family.....I too feel the pressure of doing it all myself (trying too anyway)...(fyi but I am not a guy)

You have friends...family... and well we have our friends and family to offer us support through life as we do them; that means even receiving help sometimes.

At Sun Aug 27, 11:52:00 AM PDT, Anonymous si said...

hey, good for the fairies! you're right in being able to rely on a network of family/friends when you really need them. i'm not so good at the asking, tho.

i would've helped if i weren't about a 1,000 miles away! :)


Post a Comment

<< Home