Monday, August 07, 2006

waiting for gateau

at the grocery store:

1) chose the self-service checkout. out of 4 machines, one was out of order, one locked up in use, one was being used by someone who had only last week learned what money was, and the fourth was being used by a woman scanning and weighing individual grapes. or at least, that what it seemed like. i could feel my DNA decaying as i waited.

2) next day: choice of two lines; i took the shorter one. the woman in front of me had about 10 items, for a total of around $40. but she paid for them with some sort of vouchers, about 5 of them. not sure if it was food stamps or store credit, or what, but the cashier had to break up her groceries into groups that roughly matched the denominations of the vouchers, and ring each group separately. then the vouchers had to be signed by the buyer and the cashier, imprinted in the cash register, and some sort of serial # recorded on the back. this took approximately the same amount of time as carving mt rushmore.

3) chose the 10-items-or-less line today. in front of me were two people. unfortunately, the one in front didn't have enough money to pay for her purchase, so we all waited while the cashier called a manager to suspend the sale. during this time, while the cashier's on the phone, the moneyless customer kept bouncing various alternative plans off the cashier and suggesting ways they could consummate the sale without the woman actually paying full price. eventually, right before the mgr arrived, the customer rushed off "to the car to get [her] wallet". she was never seen again. i eventually paid for my groceries, but i halfway expected to receive my AARP card while waiting in line...



PS. apologies for the lack of gateau in this post. the pun in the title was weak at best; given dubious connection between gateau and groceries, it really doesn't work, and i will be first to admit it. be that as it may, the title still suggests that i'm erudite enough to know about Waiting for Godot, which unfortunately, i am not. sorry.

15 Comments:

At Mon Aug 07, 10:48:00 PM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Estragon or Vladimir?

 
At Tue Aug 08, 01:01:00 AM PDT, Blogger jay are said...

that had me laughing out loud. I think I was that person behind YOU who walked in the store young and vibrant (okay, maybe a stretch) and left old and wrinkled....I really HATE those self-checkers. They rarely save time---I usually see the line next to me with a real checker going three times as fast.

 
At Tue Aug 08, 01:04:00 PM PDT, Anonymous si said...

"erudite" – is THAT was this post is supposed to suggest? :)

i *always* get behind the "problem-purchaser". tho last night, i was the cause of a hold-up. there were only 2 checkers and several people in each line. when it was finally my turn, *I* became the problem-purchaser. actually, it wasn’t me per se but my checker. i was trying to purchase a box of 12 items at $1.25 ea. the checker rang it up as 12 boxes at $15 ea. i just about had a heart attack when the total was over $200 when it should have been under $30. it was an interesting process to void/fix the problem –- calling the manager over, with complicated coding and “key-using” to void EACH box individually. i could feel the glares aimed at me (did so want to point to the checker and exclaim “not me!” but refrained). my “quick” trip to the store lasted 3-times as long as it should have. :(

p.s. blogger has been having a field day with my comment. i kept "losing" it (i think -- if you get 2 others that are similar from me, well, i guess it didn't!)

 
At Tue Aug 08, 06:30:00 PM PDT, Anonymous si said...

not that anyone cares, but my original first line doesn't make any sense -- it should have been "'erudite' – is THAT *what* this post is supposed to suggest?" (i'm sure this correction is telling...) :)

 
At Wed Aug 09, 12:59:00 AM PDT, Blogger Erik said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At Wed Aug 09, 01:00:00 AM PDT, Blogger Erik said...

this was extremely humorous. didn't you write something about the correct way to order fast food? that would be a fine ancillary if you still have it, and haven't already posted it sometime in the past. if you have, then it would just be repetitive and boring.

 
At Wed Aug 09, 05:26:00 PM PDT, Blogger Alan said...

I always manage to pick the slow line as well, even if it is the shortest. I'm usually behind the person who has never used their debit card before. The clerk walks them through the process, with typically three attempts on every step.

Then there is the old guy with the coin purse. Sloooooooowly coooooounting ooooooout eeeeeeevery cent. Coins purses are totally lame. (Note: Add that to old guy things to avoid.) I generally live on plastic, but on the rare occasions when I end up with change, I dump the coins into whatever charity can is at the checkout.

 
At Thu Aug 10, 11:52:00 PM PDT, Blogger heatherfeather said...

i suffer from line selection retardedness.

as my significant other put it, no matter if i'm at a grocery store, post office, or driving on the freeway, i'm certain to choose the slowest person in the history of movement to get behind. if one line has 459082341 people in it, and the other has 1 person, i'm sure to get into the 1 person line and wait 34 minutes longer than the person who would have been in front of me in the other line.

and on my 27th birthday, AARP actually sent me a membership card. i carry it in my wallet.

 
At Fri Aug 11, 10:57:00 AM PDT, Blogger blogball said...

I’m with jay are I hate those self checkouts!
They hire some person to monitor it I guess to make sure you don’t steal something. Why not just train that person to do check out?
I’m sure there was a study done that shows it saves the store some money but come on.
Whats next: BYOC (Bring your own cart)

 
At Fri Aug 11, 11:10:00 AM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, pretty soon there won't be anyone working in the dumb stores!
(Sometimes it seems there isn't anyone there to help, anyway!)

 
At Fri Aug 11, 02:44:00 PM PDT, Blogger bryan torre said...

Actually, in a lot of countries it's Bring Your Own Bag, and there are no carts...

 
At Sun Aug 13, 05:43:00 PM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

VictoriaUnleashed here:

I've had it with grocery stores. I've decided to order online from Safeway -- enough supplies to make it worth the delivery fee.

Grocery stores no longer have enough human help to make it worth my time.

 
At Mon Aug 14, 10:27:00 AM PDT, Blogger unca said...

I know this sounds self-righteous but I'll post it anyway. I know how frustrating it is to get behind a slow-poke when you have kids in tow but if you don't (have kids in tow, that is) simply ask yourself, how much of a hurry am I really in? If there's no emergency, it sometimes helps to just take a deep breath and do some people watching, sympathize with the change fumblers & clerks, read one of the National Enquirers, or bring a book with you. Maybe slow-pokes in front of you are nature's way of telling you to stop and smell the roses (or celery, or whatever).

 
At Mon Aug 14, 02:30:00 PM PDT, Blogger bryan torre said...

unca, i consider that a much too sensible and balanced approach to life. i prefer to race ahead, deferring my enjoyment of life until a mythical "someday", eventually dying of a heart attack while cursing an elderly person ahead of me and having lived none of my dreams. i consider it my patriotic duty, actually.
:-)

 
At Mon Aug 14, 02:48:00 PM PDT, Blogger Left Coast Sister said...

Maybe now we can have a post entitled Waiting for Bryan's Next Post. ha.

 

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