Wednesday, June 07, 2006


I have recently stopped participating in the church I have been a part of since childhood.

This likely means nothing to a lot of people, but it’s a big deal for me.

It is a very close, very caring fellowship. It has meant everything to the rest of my family. It produces people with wonderful qualities, and has been a tremendous source of comfort, peace, and strength to many people I know. In fact, it used to do the same thing for me, but I find myself without the necessary faith to accept its well-defined and exacting picture of the nature of God and the universe.

To get a sense of what this means, think of the scene in Fiddler On The Roof when Chava tells her father that she wants to marry Fyedka, who is a gentile.
Think of telling your Southern Baptist parents that you’re gay.
Think of telling your gay parents that you’re going to work for the Christian Coalition.

None of those things is really what it’s like, but they may give a sense of the seriousness of the family feelings that accompany this. My family & friends have been very loving and will not shun or reject me, but they feel a tremendous amount of concern and sadness. While it’s easy to *say* that I have to let them own that, it’s not necessarily so easy to do…


At Thu Jun 08, 07:59:00 PM PDT, Blogger Lisa said...

Well, gosh, Bryan, obviously I'm on the "other side" -- the one that's concerned and sad...? But, speaking as a psychotherapist, I'll just say that it's one of the hardest things in life to let everyone own their own truth. It's just as hard for "us" to let you own how you feel as it is for you to let us own how we feel. And it doesn't just end at religion, but is this way for so many subjects. In the end, we all work out our own salvation and it's no one's struggle but yours. Try to concentrate more on the love coming your way than the opinions. Keep on strugglin', as we all do.


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