Thursday, January 12, 2006

Okay, that's going well...

Remember how I said the kids were doing well? Some days not so much.

Tuesday David took it personally at school when a couple of the jocks (or as the principal called them, "sports kids") teased him about his hair and his clothes. (According to David, this one kid has hassled him for a long time.)

I remember how jocks can be -- in my day they had a way of interacting that was cocky, challenging, very physical and full of putdowns, etc. I really think they usually had little malice -- I doubt successful, popular kids understand how that plays to kids who don't have their self-esteem, etc.

Anyway, D apparently responded in an angry and inappropriate way (ie, he used the F-word), and it escalated until the kid started in on his Mom ("Your mom's fat, your mom does this/that, etc"). At that point, David's idea of how to solve the problem was to punch the kid in the face a couple of times. One of the other jocks pulled him off, and everyone thought it was great fun, with the possible expception of the kid who got punched and with the certain exception of the school principal. And David.

Bottom line, D got suspended from school for a day (yesterday).

So today, D & I have a re-entry interview with the principal, during which we all agree that punching people in the face is not appropriate behaviour, etc etc.

So all's well that ends well.

Except that today David decides to see what happens when you stick a copper wire into the electrical outlet in science class. He was smart enough to insulate his hand by embedding the wire in a whiteboard eraser first, but failed to predict the ensuing shock and catching-on-fire of the eraser.

So I get another call today from the school, and David's suspended again. He appears to be embarking on a path that will ultimately lead to a life of crime and destruction. I never dreamed Samantha would be the easy one...

PS. I thanked Sam for her behaviour lately -- don't want her to see David getting all the attention for being a problem and her getting ignored for doing well. Her response was "Does this mean you're going to buy me things?"


At Thu Jan 12, 09:01:00 PM PST, Blogger heatherfeather said...

i never cease to be amazed that there are parents in the world.

to you i doff my proverbial hat.

in hat news, i just finished knitting a hat.

At Thu Jan 12, 10:21:00 PM PST, Blogger Kylee said...

It gets better for everyone in time....
Communcation and being aware those are key..and well it sounds like your doing that. Good luck.

At Thu Jan 12, 11:09:00 PM PST, Blogger jay are said...

like heatherfeather, I sometimes am amazed that anyone has the courage to parent at all. The thing is, you're in it when you find out how bad it can get and then there's no getting out!! :)

What to say except that my thoughts are with you and I hope that things are on an upswing. D's had a lot on his plate, as they say, and it could be coming out in ways that he's not even aware of himself. Poor baby.

You'll do the right thing.

At Thu Jan 12, 11:45:00 PM PST, Blogger jay are said...

another thing that irks me, in thinking about it---why do kids get to be jerks, bullies, and it's so often unseen, unreportable, unprovable. And it's the poor guy who finally can't take it anymore that gets the consequence?? Drives me crazy.
I have ZERO tolerance for bullying (not that anyone has any tolerance for it). But I despise it beyond words.
Feeling bad for D. Don't tell him, but I'm glad he punched the guy. Guess that's not so nice of me.

At Fri Jan 13, 06:59:00 AM PST, Blogger mreddie said...

I'm always amazed at the inquisitive minds of kids and their wisdom (or lack thereof). Hang in and keep the lines open with them, as I have heard it said, This too will pass. ec

At Fri Jan 13, 09:53:00 PM PST, Anonymous si said...

i'm not sure what to say...on the one hand, it's surprising but on the other, it's kind of not. i'm guessing that he's pretty confused and not able to fully express his feelings right now.

i also agree w/jay are and have a secret glee that he hauled off and nailed the jerk. not so gleeful about the "shocking" second incident -- though i think a lot of us have done a couple of "what-would-happen-if" stupid things in our lives.

and, good, ol' sam -- a girl after my own heart. :)

hang in there, bryan. i know that you're a very caring dad. i just hope that you have some uneventful weeks for a while.

At Fri Jan 13, 10:21:00 PM PST, Blogger bryan torre said...

thx all for kind comments.

wanna know something funny? i have told this story to several people, and almost everyone expresses a secret satisfaction that D got the best of the physical exchange.

i myself told him that while we couldn't be having this kind of thing all the time (ie, fighting, getting suspended) i really wasn't that mad at him. i had told him that i didn't want him fighting or making trouble, but that i recognized that sometimes people bring it to you, and your best efforts to neutralize or ignore it aren't effective, and in some cases you have to stand up for yourself.
so i understand the school's position but at the same time i'm really not that upset with D about the fighting part.
the electrical thing was dumb, but again i think (i hope) he wasn't deliberately being destructive -- as si said, a "what would happen if" stupid thing, which we've all done. the timing was rather poor, though...

At Sat Jan 14, 12:58:00 PM PST, Anonymous sooze37 said...

hummmm wondering where Hannah is in all this parenting action.....
Thank goodness you have relatively good kids...:) would have to agree though that the timing of second infraction was just plain unfortunate...wonder if the punishment from the school would have differed if there had been more time between events??


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