Saturday, January 21, 2006

Not-very-interesting stuff from this week...

Austin was in the 70's and sunny most of the time. I notice Seattle is not.

The plane I got on to fly from Austin to Denver had hit a bird on final approach, so they had to do a special safety check. Then they had to fax paperwork to the Frontier office in Denver for signoff. This took 2.5 hours, causing everyone who had a connection in Denver to miss it.

The main flight attendant was apparently a frustrated stand-up comic, which eased the pain. He was actually very funny, and had a lot of new flight-attendant material I'd never heard.

After the standard "Cell phones off" announcement by one flight attendant, he got on and in a very soothing voice said, "What Danita was trying to say is: Sit down, strap in, and shut up, we're going to Denver now."

Also: "In the aisle my ex-wife and her new boyfriend will demonstrate a few of the safety features of our aircraft. Please take out the safety card and pretend to follow along..."

"In the unlikely event of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead compartments. If this happens, stop screaming like a little girl, pull the mask toward you, and..."

"Upon landing, an uninformed Frontier -- sorry, a UNIFORMED Frontier representative will be available..."

Okay, I guess it's not that funny, unless you were there. But if you were, it was. Delivery is everything, and he had great timing and a great voice.

He also asked us if we'd rather play the geography game again or do some illegal gambling. The vote was for gambling (he said "gambling always wins..."). So people wrote their seat # on a dollar bill and put it in a pot and the other flight attendant picked one out, and he looked at it and said happily "Flight attendants win AGAIN!"
But he was just kidding, a woman in 10A won $27...

At Denver, Frontier had an army of people waiting for us, with pre-made packets for each passenger containing a ticket for the next morning, food & lodging vouchers, etc. I thought the whole thing was handled very well.

When I checked into my hotel in Denver for my 6-hour bonus layover, I told the desk attendant I had an 8:25am flight, and asked him which shuttle I needed to be on to be at the airport by 7am. He said I needed the 6:35 shuttle. Apparently I was also supposed to ask the magic question "And what more must I do to get ON the 6:35 shuttle?"

But I failed to do this, and he did not volunteer the secret information that I needed to sign up for the shuttle, not just inquire about it. Maybe he thought that even tho I had arrived on a shuttle, the next morning I was planning to take a taxi and was merely curious about what shuttle I would have taken had I needed a shuttle. Or maybe he thought I was writing a book about shuttles and what time they come to the Red Roof Inn. I'm not sure.

Anyway, if I'd been unable to get a seat on the shuttle the next morning this would actually be a story. As it is, I was able to sneak in spite of not being signed up, so this is merely me making fun of a guy who was probably as tired as I was on a cold Denver midnight. But then even if he was tired, I fail to see how you don't end that conversation by saying something about the shuttle signup sheet, which was in front of him on his desk...

Anyway, I got back to Seattle today, picked up my kids, and all is well.

Next time I might even have something interesting to say...


At Sat Jan 21, 10:35:00 PM PST, Blogger heatherfeather said...

dude, you should have called - i'd have taken you for an early breakfast and then delivered you to the airport. all for free!

At Sat Jan 21, 11:00:00 PM PST, Blogger jay are said...

bryan, you missed your heatherfeather connection...what a ding-dong....
Anyway, I found it interesting despite your interjections that it was not. So there.

At Sun Jan 22, 03:27:00 PM PST, Blogger unca said...

I was once on a flight where the female attendant instructed the passengers: "if you are traveling with a child, place the mask over your own mouth first, then help your husband."

At Thu Jan 26, 01:19:00 PM PST, Blogger Left Coast Sister said...

I love flight attendant humor, especially since their so ridiculously serious these days. Does even one person on the plane actually think they'd get it together to pull the seat cushion in front of them, strap things over their nose and mouth and go out the inflatable slide in case of a water landing?! Lighten up, flight attendants everywhere!


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