Wednesday, July 05, 2006

It's all about expectations

Remember how I made the brilliant point about the two things that make us angry? I didn't think so. But anyway, I was angry tonight (briefly), and it was precisely because I had an expectation and it wasn't being met.
I've been in Texas for over a week, during which time agents have been showing our house, which is for sale in case anyone is interested.
I had an expectation that
a) the kids knew the house needed to be kept clean
b) Hannah would do what she said she would do (ie, make sure it was presentable)

When I got home tonight, the house had an unpleasant smell, from dirty dishes in the sink and a wet load of laundry that never got dried. If there's one thing that will make an impression on someone, it's how a house smells.
So I was angry. Hannah had been by at least once, and done virtually nothing -- there were four specific things she had agreed to take care of, and none of them were done. The kids had spent time at the house, but hadn't done any chores. Samantha had dirtied the dishes making cupcakes and milkshakes and had left them in the sink to mold (doubly annoying since it's her job to do ALL the dishes, not just her own). David had not emptied the garbage under the kitchen sink.

I'm barely keeping things afloat right now financially -- I desperately need to sell this house so I can pay back my family for temporary loans, pay off our credit cards, the lawyers for the divorce, etc etc. I'm running a small (okay, tiny) business, trying to emotionally nurture the kids, find a place to live, sell the house, and pay several thousand dollars of child support & alimony every month. Last week was a great time for people to look at the house because it was fresh on the market and no one was home for a week. But because other people didn't do what I needed (ie, expected) them to do, the house sat in a very unattractive state during all that time.

I'm over it now. I did both kids' chores, lit some candles, ran the laundry, baked a chocolate cake to make the place smell nice, and wrote a blog post complaining about all the people in my life. Tomorrow at 9am more people are coming to look at the house, so I'm going to bed now.

You might have expected me to use the space to be interesting instead of whining, but you'd be disappointed. Hope you're not angry about it.

10 Comments:

At Wed Jul 05, 07:57:00 AM PDT, Anonymous Heather said...

Hannah doesn't have to clean your house anymore. She has plenty of housework at her own place to take care of.

She was really wanting to come and do all the painting, though....but she had some pressing business to take care of...as I am sure that you did in Texas.

 
At Wed Jul 05, 10:41:00 AM PDT, Anonymous Amy said...

Hey just a suggestion but why don't you have some outside source do these things then you can pay them when the house sells as it will sell for more if these items are done...it worked for me...besides that don't you work in Texas at least you were making money during this time not spending on a holiday like the rest of us!

 
At Wed Jul 05, 12:19:00 PM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

expectations will kill ya. No doubt about it. And yet, we have to function with them to a certain degree....
Hope the house sells. Seems like it's not just in YOUR best interest that it sells, so it's too bad that things didn't go better.
Good luck...(and I'm glad to see that it's not just my 16-yr-old who isn't so great at getting his dishes chore done :))

 
At Wed Jul 05, 12:28:00 PM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oooohhh. Ouch.....

Just a suggestion, Bryan.....you should just publish all your blog writings and you wouldn't need a boring ol' regular job!! You would be famous as a writer in no time!!!!!

 
At Wed Jul 05, 12:39:00 PM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhh.....Ouch....

Just a suggestion, Bryan....you should publish all your blog writings and you wouldn't need a boring ol' regular job!!!

You would be famous as a writer in no time!!!!!!!!!

 
At Wed Jul 05, 12:45:00 PM PDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oops. sorry about the double one.

 
At Wed Jul 05, 04:40:00 PM PDT, Blogger jay are said...

wow, men who bake cakes...I have one of those too. I guess your mother taught you right :).

P.S. Good luck there on the house stuff.

 
At Wed Jul 05, 05:37:00 PM PDT, Anonymous si said...

interesting comments that were posted, bryan...

*expectations* -- almost always disappointing to the one "expecting".

best of luck on the sale -- might need to remind all involved that the sale will ultimately benefit everyone (right?).

 
At Wed Jul 05, 11:56:00 PM PDT, Blogger mamacita said...

Now, here's a rather rigid approach, but along Amy's idea of paying someone, it seems it's the day to day messes that you have trouble with. Find someone who will come in once a day and spiff up the kitchen and bathrooms for, say, $20.00. A local teenager would be good, but hey!!! You have two healthy teenagers so, every time they don't do these chores and have to call the hired teen, just take the $20.00 out of their allowances/savings, whatever. (Sorry, David and Samantha)
p.s. I agree with Jay Are's assessment of your good cake-baking upbringing.

 
At Fri Jul 07, 09:11:00 AM PDT, Blogger Lisa said...

a cake. What a GREAT idea!! I had no idea that men could bake. haha.

Hope you sell it. :) the house, that is.

 

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