Sunday, December 11, 2005

also, one time a homeless person hit me

I walked by her and she was standing in a doorway talking animatedly as she looked right through me. For some reason it struck me funny, and I smiled and nodded to her and said "Absolutely..."

Then a few minutes later I was walking back by her again and she darted out of her doorway and punched me in the shoulder really hard. She said a few angry words that didn't mean anything in the order she said them, but her meaning was clear, and it was

"Just because I'm talking nonsense to people who only exist in my mind, don't think I won't notice your condescending smirk and your smartass comments as you saunter by on your way to wherever non-crazy people go."

And she was right.

12 Comments:

At Sun Dec 11, 06:46:00 AM PST, Blogger Always Smiling said...

Well..the last time I was in Seattle...

A homeless man hugged me like a long lost friend..and wouldn't let go.

Then asked me if I wanted to see his fish...and proceeded to undo his pants...

In a way..I might have rather have been hit?

 
At Sun Dec 11, 07:18:00 AM PST, Blogger mreddie said...

After the fact, I have noticed that my "wise and witty sayings" are very close to smart aleck remarks. This knowledge stings a bit and I try to make up for it when I can. It's tough being human. ec

 
At Sun Dec 11, 12:38:00 PM PST, Anonymous si said...

one more time (i'll try to refrain from future editorializing even though it will be hard for me)...

the fact that you posted this was amusing to me as the conversation went (with your sister, her friend, client 1, client 2 (me) & yourself) -- again, i paraphrase:
[general conversation about homeless people/homeless shelters.]
bryan: [seemingly out of the blue] did you know a homeless woman came up & hit me on the arm once?
me: of course, we must have the conversation come back & be about you!
[laughter all around]
bryan: hmmph [pouts & looks away]
all of us: (cajolingly) oh, come on & tell us.
[bryan proceeds to tell us story.] (it doesn't take much cajoling.)
me: you should post this.
bryan: well, it won't be that interesting
me: when has that stopped you? (client is not very nice, see referenced lie in previous post comment.)

well, i believe that you added a certain panache to the story & did make it interesting (as i knew you would).

not that i'm keeping track or anything, but i believe that the number of post ideas (directly or indirectly) from me are getting close to more than two handfuls [humbly, she says]. as mentioned above, i'll try to restrain myself in the future -- but couldn't resist on these last two posts.

 
At Sun Dec 11, 01:33:00 PM PST, Anonymous si said...

i forgot to add that i *forgot* to take advantage of the "best friend status" & the "rights/privileges" of said status while in the oc. my assumption is that there is no expiration...

 
At Sun Dec 11, 11:47:00 PM PST, Blogger Stephanie said...

Well, I'll just say that I wish my friends and family cared enough about my blog to post on it just once. Bryan, you seem to have a traveling fan club here. Most of the people I know in real life don't even know I have a blog much less a podcast. Granted, my blogs aren't half as entertaining, but now I'm just wondering if my friends really don't care...sniff sniff...

 
At Mon Dec 12, 10:06:00 AM PST, Blogger Crystal said...

a homeless man stole my clothes one day. it was my outer layer of clothes i laid on a picnic table when i got hot and they were gone when i came for them. he was standing about 15 feet away trying desperately to fir the small warmups on his big man body. i got them back, but promised to bring him warm clothes that would actually fit him.

 
At Mon Dec 12, 03:14:00 PM PST, Blogger jay are said...

This little scenario makes me laugh every time I think of it. I can just imagine how momentarily shocking it must have been...heehee. Glad you found a moral of the story, and true it was.
(and that was certainly a nice gesture, sexylovepits...did you get clothes, then, for the guy? I bet he couldn't believe when you actually showed up with something that was his size)

 
At Mon Dec 12, 09:59:00 PM PST, Anonymous si said...

stephanie: fan club doesn't normally travel w/bryan (at least not any fans/groupies that i know of). bryan normally goes to where his fans are. :-)

he may could start a traveling one or at least get an entourage, come to think...

 
At Tue Dec 13, 08:00:00 AM PST, Blogger bryan torre said...

well for the record, i really appreciate blog comments. i like people a lot, and especially the ones who pay attention to me. did i say that? i meant to say, especially this intelligent and interesting group who i interact with* here and IRL.



* with whom i interact. i know.

 
At Tue Dec 13, 11:50:00 AM PST, Blogger heatherfeather said...

darn it.

knew i should have left a comment on this posting...

i wonder if i'm still in bryan's favor...

maybe i should bring up the contortionist thing again...

why are my thoughts being typed into the comment?

must look into that after lunch.

mmm... grilled cheese...

 
At Tue Dec 13, 12:06:00 PM PST, Anonymous si said...

even "know-it-all, anal, and chastising" commenters? :-)

jcgxrazb -- sure that this ranks right up there as the longest word verification

 
At Fri Nov 20, 04:54:00 AM PST, Blogger anojros said...

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