Friday, March 17, 2006

death cab for cutie(s)

If you don't like sad stuff, instead of reading this post you may click on this link.

If you're still here, it's on you.

There was a stray cat that took up residence in our garage. At the time it was a real mess -- I could never catch her when she decided to crawl behind the junk.

Then one day I picked up a crumpled-up blanket and a bunch of newborn kittens fell out.

Since we are soft-hearted, I made them a bed (a towel in a box) and gave her some food. She crawled in an nursed them. It was sweet.

Except then the next night I went downstairs and she was taking her kittens out of the box and shaking them and leaving them on the cold garage floor.

Two of them were dead, one was missing, and three were still alive. I put the three back in the bed but she wouldn't have anything else to do with them. By the next day they were crying constantly from hunger.

I figured it was more merciful to put them to sleep than let them starve to death, so I put them in a box and hooked it up to the exhaust pipe on my car. I ran it for about a half an hour. Then I opened up the box.

One of the three was dead. The other two were hot and sweaty, but other than that you never saw a happier pair of kittens. They were crawling around on each other like this was the best thing they'd ever experienced.

I think at that point I chickened out and called the Humane Society, who came and picked them up. I'm sure they gassed them later, but I'm guessing they were more successful at it.

The missing kitten turned up in my hockey bag two weeks later. (No, Mom, he was not miraculously alive.)

I didn't say you wanted to know about this.

3 Comments:

At Sat Mar 18, 12:15:00 PM PST, Anonymous si said...

oh, bryan... :'-(

 
At Mon Mar 20, 04:56:00 PM PST, Blogger blogball said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At Mon Mar 20, 06:00:00 PM PST, Blogger blogball said...

Talk about good intentions going bad.

Actually when I was reading this it reminded me of all the trappings of the Iraq War.

Let’s compare shall we:

Since we are soft-hearted, I made them a bed (a towel in a box) and gave her some food. She crawled in an nursed them. It was sweet.

*TROOPS LIBERATE IRAQ American troops and its allies move in to help the people of Iraq from their dangerous living conditions and will protect them until they can help themselves become a better society for generations to come and will be our allies against vermin for the future


I figured it was more merciful to put them to sleep than let them starve to death, so I put them in a box and hooked it up to the exhaust pipe on my car. I ran it for about a half an hour.

*WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION



“One of the three was dead. The other two were hot and sweaty, but other than that you never saw a happier pair of kittens. They were crawling around on each other like this was the best thing they'd ever experienced”

“FAULTY INTELLIGENCE” Turned out that even with the overwhelming opinion that there was WMD it was not what it was cracked up to be.



”I think at that point I chickened out and called the Humane Society, who came and picked them up. I'm sure they gassed them later, but I'm guessing they were more successful at it”

*SPAIN WITHDRAWS TROOPS Allied soldiers from Spain feel the pressures of War and leave it to the American Troops and its remaining allies to take care of business.



“Except then the next night I went downstairs and she was taking her kittens out of the box and shaking them and leaving them on the cold garage floor. Two of them were dead, one was missing, and three were still alive”

“CIVIL WAR”




Side Note: I do hope that the two remaining kittens that escaped the weapons of mass destruction will survive and live in peace so the initial act of goodwill will not be in vain.

 

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