Wednesday, October 19, 2005

whinny the poo

I loathe Winnie the Pooh.

Okay, I don't loathe him -- I wouldn't actually waste that much emotion on something that doesn't affect me -- but I must say I find him... really annoying and stupid.

I think the problem is that I don't believe I ever heard of Winnie the Pooh until I was about 10 or 11 yrs old, so when I DID hear about him and all his lame friends, I thought the whole thing impossibly stupid, saccharine and babyish.

Which is the point, of course -- it's for little kids -- but if you don't grow up loving bouncing Tiggers and whiny Piglets and Prozac-deprived donkeys, you're not going to be too impressed at 11 when people start going on and on about how great the whole Pooh world is, and get dorky smiles on their faces and giggle in a disturbing kind of way and in a baby voice say things like "What do Tiggers do? They bounce!" or "It all comes of liking honey too much", or worst of all, sing the song, which as far as I can tell consists of the words "Winnie the Pooh" repeated one million times, or until someone runs amok with a hatchet.

Apparently the high point in the history of the Pooh world is when "Pooh-bear" gets stuck in the doorway of someone's house (or possibly in a dike, but maybe I'm getting my stories mixed up). Then various retarded animals show up to push or pull him or whatever, and then I think... what? I dont' remember what happens, but I know it's not as good as my ending, where the bank collapses and they all suffocate.

And what's a Pooh, anyway, or a Pooh-bear for that matter? Sounds like a lot of crap to me.


At Wed Oct 19, 11:24:00 PM PDT, Blogger Erik said...

:-) good stuff. i've often wondered what a pooh-bear was, myself.

p.s. if anyone's going to be running amok with a hatchet, it's going to be me.

At Wed Oct 19, 11:32:00 PM PDT, Blogger jay are said...

oh blasphemy blasphemy. It must be that you started far too late. I grew up with Pooh and I delight in how Milne writes. Sorry you missed out on a great experience. You can't expect to appreciate it now or even at 11. Interestingly, Milne's real son's name was Christopher and he apparently, understandably, grew up loathing everything to do with Pooh and Christopher Robin because everyone just assumed that C.R. in the books was basically him. And he was his own person. Anyway, a little side bar there.

At Thu Oct 20, 08:56:00 AM PDT, Anonymous si said...

what brought this hostility on? i hope it wasn't triggered by a certain souvenir pen of a flying, butterfly-costumed eeyore (i knew that i should have got you one too...).

my niece's favorite cassette for the car when she was little was winnie the pooh (which i bought for her). she had to have it playing constantly which drove her parents nuts (my intention, of course!)


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