Sunday, September 11, 2005

Drivin' my life away

Just a little life tip for everyone:

THE DRIVE-THRU IS FOR PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY WANT. See, the whole point of the thing is that it’s quick. It’s not about getting to use the speaker thingy or the thrill of ordering from your car. It’s called “fast food”, and the drive thru is supposed to be the fastest part of it.
So if you’re not sure what you want, go inside. Then you can take all the time you like pondering what size drink to get and exactly which dressing you want with your salad.
If you haven’t been to this chain at least five times, go inside until you learn the menu. If you have more than 4 people in your car, or more than two children, go inside. Other indicators that you should be ordering inside:

  • Your English is too heavily-accented to be understood thru the two-dollar speaker system they use.
  • You have more than two special requests, or your requests are more complicated than “extra tomato” or “no mustard”.
  • You’re going to ask the attendant to find a particular toy for your Kid’s Meal.
  • You’re towing anything.
  • You’re paying with change from the ashtray.
  • You have trouble making up your mind about things.

I mean, it’s a freaking fast food meal, people. What’s the worst that could happen if you don’t get exactly the right thing? While you’re trying to swap ingredients around to make a Big Mac into Chicken Cordon Bleu, the people in the cars behind you are getting older. They got into the drive-thru expecting to get a meal before their next birthday, and making them wait while you force the drive-thru attendant to explain the entire menu is annoying and bad for your karma.

Okay, then.


At Mon Sep 12, 11:05:00 AM PDT, Blogger unca said...

I have never understood the appeal of the drive-up and avoid it at all costs. The ordeal of the thing even when it goes smoothly is not worth the minute or two you save. You stick your head out the window, scream into a microphone, move your car up to the next window, fumble with your change, crane your body to retrieve the little white bag, try to prop up the drinks without spilling them all over yourself, etc., etc. You need to be a contortionist. Even sillier is trying to eat the stuff while you drive. How much time do we need to save? Park the bloomin' car and walk into the building, I say.

At Wed Sep 14, 09:24:00 AM PDT, Blogger jay are said...

well, I agree in theory with the above comment; HOWEVER it's awfully nice when you have kids to not have to wrestle the whole troop out of the car---not to mention, it's a nice option if you're really lazy and you've become one with your car seat. That said, it's often not a time-saver, can be frustrating and induce road-rage-type hysteria. A hearty AMEN to all the drive-thru points noted. They should be posted before the entrance of every drive-thru


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