More dogsitting blues

We looked after my brother-in-law's schnauzer Bandit while they were out of town. We didn't realize dogs will go after used tampons, so we didn't know enough to put the bathroom wastebaskets out of reach. I wrote this juvenile song to comemmorate the occasion:

(To the tune of “Frosty the Snowman”)

Bandit Johanssen
Was a very happy dog
He barked and played and one fine day
Ate tampons like a hog.

Bandit Johanssen
Well, he came to life that day,
When he saw how at the Torres’ house
The treats were put away.

He found them in the wastebasket
And quickly ate them up.
Long and striped in red and white
Like candy canes for pups!

Bandit Johanssen
should have learned to say "enough".
When the six he ate made his tummy ache,
he began to yakk them up.

He went into the living room
and hurled up one or two.
So Hannah took him to the vet
to see what they could do.

Poor little Bandit,
There he barfed up several more,
And he vowed he'd never eat those things
That made his tummy sore.

So now he does behave himself
But secretly he dreams
Of living just with girls and women
Older than thirteen...

Bandit Johanssen,
He’s a happy friendly pup
But just in case, when he’s in your house
Better lock your tampons up!