Whatevsies, people

There's a thing called a Nature Valley Granola Bar. Do not eat it. It is just a cookie masquerading as a healthy-to-eat granola type item. You might as well just spend an extra 15 cents and have the Oreos.

Speaking of which, I have yet to find a very good way to say "You might as well..." in Spanish. If you know of one, let me know.

And not speaking of which, on my last flight home from Oakland a big guy sat in the middle seat of my row. As soon as the plane took off he took out and ate a burrito approximately the size of his own head. Then five minutes later he passed a silent but deadly gas that overtook our section of the plane for several rows in each direction.
When the seatbelt light went off, I vaulted from my seat and ran to the back; I didn't care who might think I was to blame, I just needed relief for my scorched air passages.
When fart-boy himself made it back to the lavs 30 seconds later, I returned to my seat and without asking anyone, turned everyone's air vents to the max. The guy in the window seat was sitting there with a shellshocked expression; as I turned on his air he slowly turned to me and in an awed and trembling voice murmured "That. Was. Awful."
I started to laugh, and he said, "Go ahead and laugh; at least you had the aisle -- I was trapped over here trying not to throw up."
Eventually Freddy the Farter returned to his seat and we had no more trouble. But window-seat guy and I felt the bond that strangers sometimes form when they pass through a life-threatening situation together...

Another important thing: I have a crush on this girl. I know she's too young for me, but maybe we could travel back in time 100 years or something. Or we could go to Laos, that might be easier...

ADDENDUM:

This won't necessarily resonate with everyone, but here's an interesting commentary on challenging racist speech.
And while we're on the subject, here's something that sometimes happens:

WHITE PERSON: ...blah blah blah black people blah blah blah...

OTHER PERSON: What does that mean? That sounded racist.

WP: I'm just pointing out the obvious. When something happens
enough, eventually you notice it. Why are they [sic] so sensitive
anyway? Why are they so ready to hear a racist comment?

OP: I don't know, could it be because When something happens
enough, eventually you notice it...?

Funny thing about being human: we're so self-referential, we think *our* experience is representative; we imagine that we're so perceptive, what *we* notice must be everything there is to be noticed. But if you're the same color as I am, 90% of racism passes you by completely. White people tend to think: *I'm* certainly not a racist (altho I'm a realist), and my friends are all nice people, and society doesn't *feel* racist to me, and since we've come so far, and since the idea of racism still being strong here would make me feel icky, then those other people must be complaining because they're oversensitive whiners.
But maybe there are other things to be experienced beyond what happens to me. Maybe people of color experience life differently. Maybe someone I know automatically knew that he couldn't work on his car in the alley behind his house because black men tinkering in an alley is often enough to make someone call the police. Maybe if you're not white there are dozens of things like this that you address every week. Maybe. Just saying.