Wednesday, October 25, 2006

may as well mention this

I met a woman in Texas a while ago.

I met her after Hannah and I had decided we were getting divorced, but before we'd told anyone, or even filed the papers. (I heard a rumor recently that we'd met three years ago, which was interesting, if totally untrue. Even if it *were* true I'm not sure how anyone would know that, but anyway...)

So the point is, I've spent more and more time with her over the last while.

She's a sweet person. We fit together very well, and I feel lucky to have met her.

That is all at this time.


At Wed Oct 25, 10:29:00 PM PDT, Blogger SoozeSchmooze said...

Guess that clears the air,in case anyone wanted facts...geez...what fun are facts?? I am glad you have a friend in Texas that fits well with are a very special guy Bryan and wise and I just want you to be happy and healed..I want that for Hannah too!(and the kids)
We drove by your old house today..
several houses looks mature... :) Susie

At Thu Oct 26, 11:02:00 AM PDT, Anonymous si said...

glad you've "come out" :). don't have to worry about editorializing so much...

interesting how certain versions come about (and where they end up!).

and here's to being happy!

At Thu Oct 26, 07:19:00 PM PDT, Blogger Kylee said...

Everyone deserves happiness. Be happy enjoy it!!

At Thu Oct 26, 07:22:00 PM PDT, Blogger Stephanie said...

Please don't take this the wrong way...but men AMAZE me at how quickly they get into new relationships!

It's not that I'm saying you didn't wait enough time.

What I am saying I am, never been married, a good-looking gal, and I STILL can't find a decent guy to have a relationship with.

Yet, there you are, not even divorced, and you've got a new gal.

But that kind of proves my point that there are vastly more quality females in the world for men than the reverse.

It's not fair, I tell ya! Not fair!

At Thu Oct 26, 08:25:00 PM PDT, Blogger Andi said...

So when do we get to meet her? Gotta make sure she's good enough for ya!

At Thu Oct 26, 10:19:00 PM PDT, Blogger bryan torre said...

as always, thank you for your support.

and i hear what lisa's saying. i'd far rather be a man looking than a woman looking.

one (of several) reasons is that looks are often more important to men than to women. since most of us are not brad pitt or angelina jolie, that makes it better to be a guy.

but then there's lisa -- she appears to be smokin hot, so it can't be about looks.

is it that she's too picky? is it that guys don't like that thing she makes them do with the weedeater and the live chicken and the peach preserves? hard to say.

i *do* think women are pickier than men are. men typically have stupider criteria, but women seem to have a lot *more* items on their list.

i will say this: since i took my ring off i've become aware of a veritable river of available and eager women flowing by. i have not been swimming in this river, but i've been aware of it.

it appears to me that if you're a man who's confident, not repulsively ugly, you have your teeth, a job, and can carry on an intelligent conversation, there's not enough hours in the day to go on all the dates you could have.

just my observation.

At Fri Oct 27, 01:21:00 PM PDT, Blogger Stephanie said...

It's not that some women are too picky. It's that men (pardon me for saying this) aren't picky enough.

For a man, they just want a gal who is attractive and nice to them, for the most part. They don't think they need brains or other types of compatibility, at least from the get-go.

(I'm not saying your new gal is dumb...I'm just saying generally.)

Guys can be swayed by false compatibility based on how good they feel around the gal initially, only to find out later they weren't compatible at all.

And it's plenty easy to find a girl who wants a relationship, since most do. So you'll have a very easy time finding an attractive female who wants a relationship who is willing to nab you because you are one of the few decent looking successful guys in the world.

But is she the right one?

And here's the thing: there are a heck of a lot more good-looking women in the world than good-looking men. And there is an even greater number of good-looking women who want relationship than good-looking men who want relationships.

As for me: Dates, I can get plenty of. But the right guy? Nope. If I were a guy, I'd be happy for someone who was less intelligent, less successful, and basically just a cute bundle of compliments, cooking, and sex.

But being a female...and also dealing with men's egos more than MY needs...I first need to find a guy who is smart enough that I am attracted to. Because guys are generally not happy with a woman smarter than they are.

And since I scored in the 99% percentile in school, you can see that I have a very small pool of men to deal with, and I'm not going to be marrying Poindexter with the nasal voice and the Xena Warrior Princess action figure collection.

PS Who is LISA??

At Fri Oct 27, 11:06:00 PM PDT, Blogger bryan torre said...

i don't think i disagree with anything you wrote.

i agree that we (men) mostly want affection & appreciation/approval. if she's sexy & can cook to boot, we're golden -- doesn't really matter if she's educated, intelligent, rich, talented, whatever.

but is that bad? it makes us happy, and it should actually work in women's favor -- the bar's not that high: be affectionate and nice, and we're content -- we're not that hard to please.

all i'm saying is: what level of pickiness is the *right* level, and who determines it?

as to the rest, i understand and feel your pain. kind of. too bad you live in LA, and I already have a cute bundle of compliments, cooking, etc -- if you lived here I could kick your butt at scrabble, trivial pursuit, AND chess, possibly establishing myself as the non-Poindexter action-figure-free uber-mensch you're looking for. or something.

As to Lisa, I meant you. sorry about that. It's weird, but I've always gotten those two names mixed up. Sounds stupid (and not so uber), but I think it's because I knew a Stephanie that reminded me a *lot* of a Lisa I had known, and... you get the idea. I think both names are very pretty, as have been all the women I have ever known with either name. Which I'm sure is important to know...

At Fri Oct 27, 11:19:00 PM PDT, Anonymous Helena said...

I disagree all men want a sexy woman and a good meal. I know my man loves a lively debate with an intellectual equal, a sounding board who can contribute good advice, a friend and of course sex and food.

At Sat Oct 28, 12:15:00 AM PDT, Blogger bryan torre said...

helena, i shouldn't have made it sound like sex & food are ALL men want. i just think that affection and approval are a LOT more important to men than women realize.

if i have to make a choice between somebody smart and somebody nice, i'll take nice every single time.

if i have to choose between good sex and a good debate, sex wins going away.

if it's between someone educated and someone appreciative, appreciation is what i'll pick.

so it's not like those other things aren't important -- it's just that they're less important, and by a good margin.

At Sat Oct 28, 12:22:00 AM PDT, Blogger bryan torre said...

i also think both genders waste a lot of effort trying to make the other be & want the things they "ought to" be and want.

men often want women to be simpler, less emotional, more sexual, more flexible.

women often want men to be deeper, more complex, more empathetic, more understanding, more generous than they really are.

i do think when it's done right, a relationship helps each person grow, no matter what gender(s) are represented.

At Sat Oct 28, 01:29:00 PM PDT, Anonymous si said...

(this is a comment i may regret later...) you know, we’ve had disagreements where i’ve indicated that i thought you sounded shallow (and didn’t want you to come across in that manner). i’m realizing my main concern was that i didn’t want to believe that you ARE shallow. your list of preferences don’t have to be mutually exclusive –- hopefully a woman can be smart AND nice, educated AND appreciative, stimulating in sexy AND intellectual ways... not necessarily convinced you are one-dimensional (but maybe my belief is slipping a little). :-)

just my 2 cents worth –- not that you should (or would) put that much stock in what i say...

At Sat Oct 28, 03:36:00 PM PDT, Anonymous Helena said...

I totally agree with si. Maybe you have never been fortunate to meet or be with someone who is all of those qualities so you don't think they exist. Poor you... missing out on all the fun.

At Sun Oct 29, 06:37:00 PM PST, Blogger bryan torre said...

not sure where i said those things are mutually exclusive. i presented them as a choice (ie, IF i had to choose) to illustrate which things are more important to me than other things, and how MUCH more important.
i feel like this: nobody's perfect, even me. ;-)
when you find a pearl, someone with very similar priorities and goals, who you fit with or complement emotionally, physically, temperamentally, etc, someone who makes you very happy, you don't throw that away just because there may theoretically be an even BIGGER pearl you could find by prying open 100 more oysters...


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